i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
