After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
