Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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