I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
did i walk over a car last night?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
