he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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