Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
