pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Damn victory sex feels great
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
