ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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