mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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