I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize