This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
