Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
