Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
