There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My ass is underappreciated
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
