Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
