Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
