Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
