the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
