I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
