I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize