Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
