paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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