He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
