Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
