my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
