i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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