and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
