physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
