Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
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I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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