I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
