one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
