if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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