I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
