Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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