The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
