is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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