I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize