We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
