It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
