whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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