I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
