You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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