When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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