My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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