There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
