just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
