and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
