so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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