I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
