I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
PANTIES FOUND
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