it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
