Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
