so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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