Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
