She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
