I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
