try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
