Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I have fence marks all over my body
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
