So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
