I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
