What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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