Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
