well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
So squirting runs in the family.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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