i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
