man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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