Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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