Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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