Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Mom said you looked used
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
